Random Firings by Hank Farber

Where can your child get TLC? Where would you love to be a fence painter? What is NJ268357? These bears are not treed, they are _______. What year was Warren County incorporated? What is CR137? What hours are the park open?

These are all questions from the rally that Rallymaster Dave Fitting put together for our chapter a couple of weeks ago. Most of you missed it, and that's too bad. It was tons of fun. Only ten cars showed up (about 1/20 of one percent of the chapter membership). My son, Ben, and I finished finished second, one point behind perennial winners, Brian Lanius and Scott Weiner. Let me tell you a bit about rallying in the hopes of coaxing more of you out to our next one, the Whack-Your-Turkey rally in November. Rallys are NOT speed events. In fact, speed does not count AT ALL. The winner of the rally is the team (driver and navigator) that answers the most questions (or clues) correctly. Each entry is given route instructions (where to turn, etc) and a set of questions for each segment of the route. The answers to these questions can be found along the route and are visible from a car on the road (or at least are supposed to be, Dave). The rallymaster is infallible (whether right or wrong), and his scoring is not appealable. So the key is to drive slowly (without being a menace) and watch carefully for the answers to the obscure and not so obscure clues. This is more fun than it sounds like, particularly since the rally routes are often through the most beautiful parts of our beautiful state and it is fun trying to figure out just what the demented soul who made up the rally could possibly have had in mind. It is not unusual to drive a particular section three or more times in search of an answer. We have run rallys through rural parts of northwestern and central New Jersey. And we have even run a rally through Union and Essex counties (including beautiful Linden, my home town, and Ironbound Newark). I particularly liked that one.

I have made it a habit to rally with my son, now nineteen, and rallying has provided us with the opportunity to "bond" and spend "quality time." After a shaky start, we even won a rally (the 1996 Spring rally). All right, I confess, Brian and Scott did not show up for that one. That is why it was somewhat disheartening to lose to them by only one lousy point this time. I expect, now that this son will be starting college this fall, that it is time to break in my younger boy, now sixteen. He could use some "bonding" and "quality time" too. Lest I be accused of sexism, I should mention that, while my daughter has not been on a rally with me, she has attended one of our drivers' schools at Lime Rock.

Still, the recent rally was particularly fun. Dave laid out a beautiful route for the rally, starting from Route 206, just north of Route 80. Of course, he made it a challenge to get to the start, saying that this was in the town of Byram, which maps list as being near the Delaware River around Lambertville and Frenchtown. But we managed to get to the start without a problem. The route was spectacular, mostly on relatively lightly traveled and picturesque roads. And the clues were not too too devilish. We really had a blast.

The development of a rally starts with the rallymaster spending many hours finding an interesting route, finding answers, and writing clues to match the answers. I once helped my brother put together a rally, and it was a lot of work. Once the rally is mapped out and the clues written, someone needs to take a dry run (or three) to make sure it all makes sense and the difficulty level is appropriate (whatever that means). A day or two before the rally, the rallymaster needs to drive the route for a final time to make sure that no answers have disappeared (either through removal or because they are hidden by vegetation.

On the day of the rally, the entrants gather at the start to receive their instructions and are sent off at regular intervals. Several hours later we all meet at the end point, usually a restaurant, in order to await scoring by the rallymaster, compare notes on the trickiest clues, and generally complain. Great fun for all!

For a nice way to spend a Sunday morning, club members will have a hard time beating one of our rallys. I hope to see you at the next one. But be careful. You might get hooked and even want to become a rallymaster yourself!